


The Consequences of Meddling

by Uniasus



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist
Genre: Amnesia, Gen, Mystery, Roy making a mess of things, missing person
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-07
Updated: 2013-09-30
Packaged: 2017-12-25 21:26:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,572
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/957767
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Uniasus/pseuds/Uniasus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fullmetal has been missing for a year now, so when Roy sees a whole ten-year old version of the alchemist he wants answers. Especially since the boy is living with Lust.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted to ff.net July 28th 2009

September 30th had recently become one of the two dates on which Roy Mustang's heart bloomed with bruises. The first was the day Maes was shot. The second, today, was the day Fullmetal disappeared.

The office had been very solemn, typical of a first year anniversary. Hawkeye did not chastise him for bouts of spaciness and he did not have a date the entire weekend. Despite slacking off on everyone's part, even his trigger-happy lieutenant did not set things up for Monday; they all left on time and headed to different places to think guilty thoughts and to convince themselves to hold onto hope.

They all felt guilty, they were all there when it happened and didn't even notice. Havoc had invited them all to a bonfire in his backyard in honor of finally moving out of the military dorms and in celebration of Al shedding his armor. The brothers had returned from a routine mission, but when Fullmetal had shown up to report, a 15-year-old boy with new pink skin had followed him in.

It had been nice to see both boys smiling, both being able to smile. Al had been lavished with attention, questions of how? being unspoken because no one really wanted to know. In fact, so much attention had been focused on the younger Elric that half of them only semi-noticed Fullmetal get up and leave the light the fire provided. Roy had assumed he was going to the house to use the faculties but when Breda made a comment about Fullmetal's absence Roy realized that it was taking Fullmetal too long to return.

"Probably got lost in the house," Havoc joked and Roy had added a barb about the teen's height. Eventually the sky lost all traces of sun and the amount of stars they could see had almost doubled since the beginning. Fullmetal had still not returned and they all had begun to shift with worry. They did a search of the yard and house to no avail and the sun's light the next morning did not offer any clues either. The only evidence that showed Fullmetal had been there at all were the used marshmallow stick and the trampled grass around his chair.

None of them noticed anything, or heard anything strange. It only made them feel worse. They had put forth that much more effort into his search, trying to atone for their moment of being off guard. After two months the military pulled its men off the case and Fullmetal's file was marked "Missing, presumed dead". The blonde was not MIA, so there was no chance of him being held in a POW camp. It was normal child abduction; in cases like that it was rare to find the missing person if more than a month had passed. And if they were found, it was rarely alive.

His command had taken rotations to check the hospitals, homeless shelters, and orphanages in the city every weekend. Al had checked them all every day until Roy had convinced him to return to Resembool, saying that Ed was bound to turn up there sooner or later. But as the year had progressed their checks had become less frequent, only done if one of them happened to be in the area. After weeks of nothing, and no evidence dug up by the military it got harder and harder to believe that they would find him at all. Hope had always been a fickle flame, needing fuel it to keep it alive. With nothing to feed on, Roy felt it die slowly in his chest with each sunrise. He wished he could snap his fingers and command it to roar again, but even Al's own flame was flickering when he had returned to his hometown two months ago. Roy's was so tiny an ember he was surprised it had not gone out yet.

"Come on Dean."

The voice was husky and deep for a female, but the tone was gentle and patient. It was naturally seductive; had Roy been in a different state of mind he would introduce himself. Instead, he just found himself looking up from the sidewalk idly, other thoughts on his mind.

He froze.

The woman was tall, thin, and gifted with perfectly proportioned curves. He couldn't see her face, she was standing in a doorway at the top of a set of stairs, but there was something about her profile that struck a chord in him. Her hair was long, down to the center of her back, and had been pulled out of her face with a low, simple braid. She extended her hand to someone in front of her, most likely this Dean person, who Roy could not see.

"All set?" she asked. Roy didn't hear a reply before she was turning and he got a good look at her face.

Lust.

It was her alright. Her chest was covered and she wore her hair differently but he recognized her face; the narrow slanted eyes and full lips a pink color others only attained through makeup. Roy made a move to confront her, but before he could lift his foot his heart stopped, leaping into his throat.

Edward.

Lust was holding the hand of a young boy about ten, who made no fuss about it, even though Roy had shied from such a public display of affection when he was that age. He was blonde and had a blank look on his face, but his features were almost identical to those seen on Fullmetals' face. It hurt to look at him, after a year of looking for something to grasp onto, to keep his hope burning. He felt it flare up and just as quickly recede.

Fullmetal had always had a very expressionistic face; it had been too easy to read for someone like Roy who was used to playing manipulative games. But this child was unreadable, even for him. And he was also whole. The weather was cool so he was wearing a sweater but his hands were not hidden in gloves and Roy could see two human hands. There was also no clunk of steel on every other step.

Even so, he desperately wanted this to be Fullmetal, because even though it meant something tremendous had to have happened to him, at least he was alive. But his eyes kept drifting from the child to the women holding his hand and something whispered in the back of his mind that no matter how hard he wished it were this child, this tiny thing of flesh and human warmth; it was not who he was searching for.

None of that mattered though, when the pair passed him by and Roy saw the boy's eyes. They were gold.

~*~

The officer behind the front desk looked startled even frightened when he slammed his hands on the piece of furniture and demanded information on the pair he had just seen leave the building. And even though he was wearing his uniform, proclaiming him as a ranking officer in the military, Roy was still met with defiance.

"Just tell me who they are!" he hissed.

"No," he answered in a shaky yet defiant voice. "They've been through a lot," Roy noted his name was Aaron, according to the label on the desk. "They don't need the military poking their noses into their lives."

"The military's not," Roy began pointing his finger accusingly at the officer, who only stared defiantly at him. It was obvious the three of them knew each other. He sagged over the desk, his hand falling to hang uselessly at his side while the other one went to shield his eyes. He turned away.

"It's personal," his voice sounded weak and tired, like a man grasping at straws with deformed fingers.

"How so?" There was a wary glare in Aaron's tone, but when Roy turned to look at the officer he saw that the face had softened.

"They…remind me of people I have not seen in about a year."

"Really?" Aaron sat up straighter in his chair, eager and with more hope than Roy had felt in a while. "Who?"

"The woman reminded me of a friend's ex-girlfriend. Solaris I think her name was." Roy watched the name being written. He highly doubted the police had anything on her, not under that alias and certainly not under her true identity as the homunculus Lust.

"And the child?"

"One of my subordinates, an Edward Elric. He went missing a year ago today."

"Doesn't someone have to be 18 to sign up for the military? If that's the case there's no way Dean is who you're looking for. He's only around ten."

"I know," Roy felt deflated at the admission, but still…if alchemy was involved. "But he looks just like him, right down to the color of his eyes."

"Really?" Aaron looked interested at that tidbit. "Did this Edward of yours have any family?"

"One brother, but I know where he is."

"Hmm," the officer wrote down Fullmetal's name as well, then stood up. "Let me see if I can find any files on them for you."

"Thank you," Roy was stiff and formal now, how this whole encounter should have been. He had let a lot show to a stranger and he blamed it on the shock of seeing who most likely were Lust and Fullmetal. But now that maybe, just maybe he was onto something he felt more in control of himself.

He took a seat on the edge of one the chairs in the room, putting forth a great effort not to tap his foot anxiously on the floor or rub his hands franticly together. The first was a pet peeve he found in others, the second a potential for an accidental flare. Both were signs of emotion he was not comfortable to show.

Emotions were openings, things that could be used against you. He had used them as a tool himself many times in the past, even against Fullmetal. It gave him control, helped him worm his way into the right places to achieve his goal. And who could not help but exploit the faces and expressions Fullmetal made. The teen was an open book, as if someone had written what he was feeling on his forehead with a marker, for the entire world to see.

And yet, despite all the times Fullmetals' emotions were played with and hurt, he kept bouncing back. After Nina he grew; after Scar he grew; after learning about the truth to Marcoh's research, he grew. Somehow he came back from those ordeals stronger and brighter due to his strengthened resolve. And maybe that was why everyone in his office held onto that ray of hope, because they couldn't think of something Fullmetal had not bounced back with, given enough time.

This boy - Dean, as Roy had heard him addressed - had to be Fullmetal, because if he was not, he did not know if he could take it. His heart was not as strong as the teen's.

"Sir?"

Roy snapped his head up to see Aaron standing in front of him. "Sorry, I didn't find anything."

"Anything? But Full-, but Elric went missing off duty and was only sixteen. The military searched for two months. You're sure you don't have a file on him?"

"Sixteen, sir? And in the military?"

"He was a special case."

"Please give me a minute."

Roy watched Aaron scurry away, most likely to check the juvenile files. Fullmetal had not gone missing while on duty and he was a minor. It was common practice for the military to file missing person reports for those who disappeared off duty, and considering Fullmetal's age it should have been assigned a code pink. (1)

When Aaron returned there were two files under his arm.

"Sorry sir, I still didn't find any file on Edward. Are you sure the military filed a report with us?"

"No. No, I'm not."

Aaron gave him a look that Roy did not bother trying to understand before handing him the two folders and sitting down in the chair next to him.

"These are the files we have on Susan and Dean." Roy flipped through them as Aaron talked. "I found them myself, just over four months ago around the block. They were just sitting there on the sidewalk, Susan looking lost and Dean just stared at nothing. I felt sorry for them and brought them here. Turns out, they both don't remember anything much before then. Just impressions of the city.

"Dean doesn't speak much, so I think not knowing what's happened upsets him. Susan, the doll, is doing her best to get by. The first thing she did after getting her own paperwork finished was to get Dean's and adopt him. I don't think she minds not having memories; she doesn't need them to live her life.

"They come in and say hi once in a while, and I'll bump into them sometimes around town. Let me tell you, sometimes Susan'll look at things and frown. It's like she knows she used to know something and doesn't any more. It never bothers her for more than a moment, or at least it never shows for longer than that. But I think it would be good if she could remember some things about her past. Do you think you could meet them? Talk with Susan, see if she's Solaris?"

Roy pursed his lips. He was trying to find Fullmetal, not Lust. But she had Fullmetal with her; maybe he could learn something from her.

"Why not? It couldn't do any harm. If she's not, nothing bad happens and if she is, that's good isn't it?"

Aaron beamed at him. Roy jolted down his contact number so the officer could call him if 'Susan' and 'Dean' agreed to meet with him, then he walked out of the station. He paused halfway down the stairs, looking in the direction he had seen the two go off in not an hour before. He debated about calling his subordinates; tell them what he found. Roy decided to hold off on that, it would not do for them all to be filled with false hope only to see it die.

~*~

"Yo!"

The voice came from an alley on his right. Roy turned and stopped moving at what he saw. Leaning against the alley's wall, playing with a knife, was a dark haired, green eyed, bespectacled man. His heart lurched and then rational thought caught up.

"Envy," Roy growled, raising his hand and steadying his stance, prepared. He did not trust the homunculus, and seeing him wear the form of his dead best friend unsettled him greatly.

The other man's eyes flashed a deep purple. "Stay away from Lust."

Roy's half-desire to meet with the woman grew stronger. "There's nothing you can do to stop me," he replied.

Envy laughed, a sound filled with dark humor that caused shivers to crawl down Roy's back, hearing it come from Maes' throat.

"You forget what I am, what I'm capable of. You will leave Lust alone."

His voice lacked his usual bored confidence; there was a soft plea underneath the command. Not much but enough for Roy's well trained ears to notice.

"Why?"

"Meddling never does anyone good. I won't let you destroy her."

Roy smirked. "Fine," he had this upper hand in this situation. "I won't do anything if you tell me what happened to Fullmetal."

Envy sneered and glared. "I don't know what happened to the chibi and I don't care." His arm slashed through the air, emphasizing his point.

"Then we don't have a deal." Roy turned and walked away, heading back to his apartment and leaving Envy to distend with anger.

~*~

They had made plans, through Aaron of course, to meet for lunch the next day. Roy made a point of showing up early, wanting an opportunity to study Lust before she was aware of him. He sat a table in the back of the café, ordered a decaf, and went over the questions he was planning to ask before she walked through the door, the young version of Fullmetal in tow.

He had expected her to wear an extra high cut top or to have a scarf wrapped around to hide her ouroboros tattoo. It startled him to see that she had not, and that the flesh on her chest was unblemished. No red tattoo, no scars from its removal, though Roy had no idea why Lust would have wanted it removed. Maybe she really was Susan.

No, that could not be. The woman who had just walked through the door had to be Lust, because if not why would Envy have told him to stay away? But she did not act like the Lust he remembered. Her hair was once again bound in a plait down her back, she didn't have a tattoo, and while there were several men looking at her, she did nothing to enhance the effect. No shy looks, no pouting lips, no sashaying. It was disconcerting almost.

She looked around the room, most likely trying to find him, and then he realized the only way that she could've known him was if he had worn his military uniform. There were several dark haired men in the café and the two of them had supposedly never met. But if she was Lust she should know him.

But she just stood there, looking nervous and bringing Edward closer to her side. Maybe, Roy thought, maybe she's not Lust. Envy could be mistaken, mistaking her based on appearance, just as he had. Truly, she could be Susan. But the boy, he could not stop thinking of him as Fullmetal, for no one else had eyes like that. Even Al's were more of a honey-gray.

Roy stood up and waved. 'Susan' saw him and smiled almost thankfully. She turned her head down to talk to Fullmetal and then they were weaving between tables and standing across from his, looking at him.

"Roy Mustang?" she asked.

"At your service," he said, coming around the table to pull out her seat for her. "Susan Stanton I presume?"

"Yes, and this here is Dean. Say hello dear."

"Hello, sir," Fullmetal's voice was so bland Roy almost stared. The boy sat still, no inkling of recognizing Roy at all in those eyes. 'Susan' was much livelier.

"Aaron said that you might –"

Roy stopped her by holding up his hand. "I'm in the presence of a beautiful woman. Can't I get to know her before we talk business?"

'Susan' blushed. "I guess."

And so they sat and talked, Roy asking most of the questions. He asked about Fullmetal first, shot glances the boy's way the entire time. But there was nothing there aside from appearances that reminded him of Fullmetal. The boy sat there passively, not even engaging in the minute squirming that kids often did when forced to sit for long periods of time. No, he just sat there, drunk his milk (milk!) quietly and stared out the window at the café's front. There were times when Roy almost forgot he was there and had to force himself to remember and look at Fullmetal.

It was strange really, having to force himself to think of the blonde. That was the whole reason he was here, to learn about what had happened to his subordinate. But his attention kept on focusing on 'Susan'. She was lively, determined to get over what had happened to her, and smart. Her math skills were incredible; as was her chemistry so she worked as a geologist's assistant to pay the bills. At night her neighbor, who taught at the local school, came over to tutor her. It seemed that in other subjects her level was not past fifth or sixth grade.

By the time their lunch orders were set in front of them Roy had lost all suspicion that 'Susan' was anything other than she said she was. Lust would have been asking more questions, much more pointed than "How long have you been in the military?" and "Do you like it?"

"What grade is Dean in?"

Susan's dimmed, as if someone had reduced the amount of gas to a lantern. "Dean's…a special child you see." She turned to smile at the child, who returned it with a mild one of his own and began cutting his turkey into bite-sized pieces. "He's not any grade per say, just a class that will let him go at his own pace. The doctors think he suffered a great blow to the head that caused him to forget and it might have done more than that…"

She trailed off and Roy frowned in the boy's direction. The Fullmetal Alchemist Edward Elric, the genius who passed the State exam at the age of twelve was now requiring aid in school? Was essentially way below average?

"I don't believe it," Roy muttered under his breath.

"Pardon me?" Susan asked.

Roy turned his attention to the woman. "Sorry, it's just that Dean reminds me of someone who was smarter than I could ever be. It's hard to think of him as," he paused thinking for the right word, "challenged."

"Really, what was his name?"

"Edward Elric."

"Edward Elric," Susan repeated, slowly and softly as if committing it to memory. "Who is it I remind you of?"

"A woman by the name of Solaris. I didn't know her too well; she dated one of my lieutenants for a couple weeks. I would have brought him, but it ended on bad terms."

"How so? If I may ask?"

"She was an enemy spy trying to get information." He watched her, looking for something that might prove she knew what he was talking about. Nothing showed, and he scolded himself for thinking there might be. It was already obvious that Susan was not Lust and while he did not like to think of the idea of dining with an enemy there was the slim chance he could learn something about Fullmetal. The desire to know something, anything, about the blonde was almost painful.

"Does that happen often?" Roy shook his head and Susan continued. "Tell me more about this Edward Elric."

"You don't want to hear about Solaris?"

"I don't think that was me. I mean, I always thought it someone told me my real name I would know right away. Plus, if I was a spy would the military let me wander around the streets even if I didn't have my memory?"

"No," Roy admitted.

"See? But I would like to know about this Edward. It's obvious you care about him. You said Dean reminds you of him right, how so?"

Roy looked toward Fullmetal again. He was chewing on a fry, looking as if not even the building catching on fire would faze him.

"He looks like him. I've never seen anyone else with gold eyes. But Fullmetal would be seventeen right now." He trailed off, guilt once again sneaking into his mind.

"Fullmetal?"

"Elric was a state alchemist at the age of twelve. The State gave him the name 'Fullmetal'. As his superior, I've always called him that."

"That's a heavy sounding name, but it has a nice ring to it."

"That's funny; he said something similar about it when he received it." Roy shrugged. "It fit him really well though, he had two automail limbs."

"An arm and leg?" Roy glanced at her sharply, but it seemed Susan herself was surprised at the question and how much it sounded like a statement of fact.

"Yes," he responded cautiously, watching.

"Poor boy, I heard the surgery is painful." She looked down at 'Dean'. "I can't imagine Dean going through something like that.

Roy looked at the boy and wished Fullmetal need not have gone through the procedure. It had improved his life in many ways, but the reason he needed the limbs to begin with had caused a lifetime of woe.

By the time the clock in the plaza struck two Susan knew all that was in the public reports of Fullmetal. The ringing also sounded the time that Susan and Dean had to leave for another appointment. The adults argued over the bill of course, Roy wanting to pay for her company and Susan wanting to pay for the stories, with them going dutch as the result.

Roy waved goodbye when they parted at the door and smiled at her. For the first time in a year thoughts of Fullmetal had not carried barbs of pain. It was a pity they had no reason to meet again; he had not learned anything he was hoping to, nor was there any chance for it, and she had not found out anything about a potential past. But maybe he would give her a call where they could dine in a more formal setting.

He could not explain it, but there was something familiar about her. It felt as they had known each other for years, they had read each other so well. And she was so bright and full of life, stubborn too. Susan had not let him dance around answering a question, even though she had mentioned she knew it hurt him to think about such things at time. How she knew that, Roy had no idea, most people took years to learn how to see beneath his mask.

Strange how Dean was so different from his adoptive mother, even if he was suffering from an injury that caused brain damage. Hanging around with someone who seemed to glow all the time by the strength of their life force was bound to rub off, Roy thought. But all through lunch he could not help but notice a growing feeling of unease on his part directed toward the child. He was so cold and empty.

~*~

"Roy Mustang!"

He looked up to see Susan in a black coat waving at him, a large smile on her face from a bench in the small park he was walking by. After shooting off a small smile of his own, he went to join her.

It had been a month since they had met for lunch and in all honesty, Roy had not expected to see her again. But now, sitting next to her, Roy realized that even though they barely knew each other he had somehow missed her. Funny, he had never missed any of the other women he had been with regardless of how many dates he had taken them on.

"How have you been?" she asked, offering him a warm meat pie from the basket between her feet.

He pulled down the scarf around his neck in order to speak more clearly and accepted the treat. "As well as I can be. It's nice to see you again Susan."

And it was the truth, not just a pleasantry he shared with everyone, though he did that too. There was something refreshing in Susan, in how she was informal and straight to the point without all the fuss of flickering eyelashes and shy looks. It was also nice to know a woman who was interested in him for more than his looks and bed skills. True, there was Hawkeye but she was only a woman half the time and they had known each other for years now.

"On your own today?"

Susan shook her head, "No, I don't like to leave Dean with someone else unless I have to. I'm too protective." She laughed and then pointed to the small playground across the path from the bench they sat on.

Roy glanced over to see Dean on a swing. He was not going high, but there was a slight smile on his face as the wind ruffled his hair. There were other children playing as well, but they seemed to leave a wide berth around the blonde, the swings on either side of him were empty. Seeing him surround by his peers Roy was even more aware of how different the kid was from the others around him; something was just… lacking.

"You know," Susan began, showing a rare moment of shyness and focusing on the hands in her lap, "I seem to have developed a…fascination for Ed. I blame you, just so you know." She poked him in the shoulder with a coy smile.

Roy answered with one of his own, "You only have yourself to blame, I just answered all your questions."

She laughed, "You got me there. I actually went to the library and read everything I could about him. I've turned into such a groupie. And I wondered, I know you're still getting over losing him, and I hate to ask, but I almost feel as if I should, since you were his commanding officer, if you would mind me asking a few more questions about Ed."

Roy thought for a moment. No one in the office really talked about Fullmetal and he was always a tense and short subject when Roy talked about the teen to anyone. But once again he felt a camaraderie with Susan that most people only developed after years of knowing each other, and it just felt right to give her the answers she sought. Plus, even though Fullmetal was heavily talked about between them last month it had not come with a bitter feeling in his mouth.

"All right, what would you like to know?"

"Ooh, I don't know where to start!" Susan clapped hands together in front of her chest. "Um…why did Al always wear that suit of armor? I mean, did he have to?"

"Did he have to?" Roy overcame a slight stopping of brain function before he continued. "No, he just did it for a hobby. Crazy kid. Alphonse doesn't wear it anymore."

"Good! I still can't believe it, that such a child could do something like that. I mean, if automail can stunt growth imagine what always wearing armor could do!"

"Automail can stunt growth? Where did you hear that from?" Roy had heard Fullmetal make such accusations, but he had never heard anything about it being more than a mild possibility.

"I…I don't really know. But it makes sense to me, carrying around more weight than normal." Susan glanced over to Dean, most likely to check on him, but Roy could not place the emotion that quickly flitted over her face.

"Do you know how Ed lost his limbs?"

Roy frowned a little and looked down at the ground, thinking of how it really happened. He felt compelled to tell her the truth, but bit back the urge. "His home town was really close to Ishbal. There was some fighting in a field on the village outskirts, where Fullmetal had been playing. It was a stray artillery shell."

"An accident? Not a consequence?"

Roy's head shot up and turned to look at her. She looked pensive and more than just slightly confused, with a grim set mouth and darkened eyes. Almost as if she had half expected a different answer than the one she had received.

"No," he said slowly, "an accident. I've seen where it happened myself." A lie, of course, but Roy wanted to set things straight as soon as possible. To rid her of this other notion. Mentioning Resembool seemed to do the trick.

"You've been to Resembool? What's it like?" Her eyes had brightened again and all her attention was on him.

"Peaceful, hilly, very green. There isn't much to it; it really is just a small farming village."

"Lots of sheep?"

"Tons."

"There's a river too, right?"

"Only when the rains are heavy, other than that it really is just a large stream."

"Really, I always thought it was hard to cross." There was a faraway look to her eyes, as if she trying to recall something that was not even clear enough to try and grasp at.

"Have you been to Resembool?" It was possible she had been there once, perhaps. Resembool was not on the main tracks but it did sit on the southwestern edge of one of the eastern mountain ranges. She could have gone though on her way to one of the more scenic tourist towns.

"Maybe," she turned to watch Dean swing but Roy thought she was not really seeing the boy. "What you said sounded familiar."

"That's great! Maybe you're finally remembering!"

Susan turned back to him, full smile on her face. "Yeah!" It started to fall. "Maybe."

"What's wrong?"

"What if…what if I don't like who I used to be? I'm happy with who I am, with being Susan and having Dean. What if regaining my memories means I lose what I have?"

Something flickered through his mind, a memory of seeing Maes' face on a living body after his death, a memory of meeting with Envy. I won't let you destroy her. He brushed it aside. Envy was mistaken, just like he had been at first, in thinking Susan was Lust.

Being the smooth man many women knew him for; Roy took Susan's hand to comfort her. "Susan, if you don't want to remember you don't have too. And if you do and don't like it, you can still live like you do. You only have to go back to that life if you want to."

She gave a weak smile. Roy let go of her hand a brushed a stray piece of hair behind her ear before returning his hand to himself.

"Now how about I tell you more about Fullmetal?"

"How about his first assignment, with the doll maker and blue roses?"

Roy frowned. "I don't remember that one."

"Most likely 'cause you're getting old." She gave a toothy smirk. "Everything's just fresh in my mind because I just read everything I could about him. Why don't you tell me the one with the doppelgangers?"

That one he knew. They talked of Fullmetal's past missions until Roy had to leave if he wanted to get his shopping done before the stores closed. Not to mention both of them were freezing, it was a colder October than usual. He waved to goodbye to Susan and Dean before taking off down the street. It was not until later, after he had got home and sat down to eat pasta by himself did he think of the peculiarities of the evening. Susan had seemed to know some minute details of some cases, details that would not have been mentioned in books anywhere. At the time, Roy had not thought anything of it but looking back he remembered her frowning a little and thinking the expression familiar. If only he could place it.


	2. Chapter 2

When the phone rang he picked it up in his regular languid manner, waiting two rings before lifting up the receiver. It showed his commanding officers he was busy. That, and sometimes it just took that long for him to snap out of the drifting thoughts he entertained when he was avoiding work.

"Roy?"

It was a female voice, one he did not recognize, but there was a frayed edge to it that caused him to sit up straight.

"Yes?"

"It's Susan, I'm sorry to call you at work but -"

"Susan? What's wrong, are you okay?"

Roy saw Hawkeye's head rise from her desk. Susan was not one of their code words, nor was she one of Madam Christmas's girls. Hawkeye was bound to curious about who Susan was, the only real girl to have called Roy at the office.

"I'm…I'm really confused right now. Could I talk to you, meet you for lunch in half an hour?

"Of course," Roy heard a relieved expulsion of air through the receiver. She had always emitted a feeling of confidence, what had her shaken so bad?

"Thanks, see you soon. I'll be at Diane's."

The line clicked and Roy was left frowning at the speaker.

"Sir?"

Roy looked up to see Hawkeye looking at him, the tiniest frown of concern on her face.

"I have a lunch date, please clear up my schedule."

"Yes sir," she gave him a calculating look before settling back to work. Hawkeye was smart, she would figure out this was not frivolous outing.

"You have a lunch date?!" Havoc threw up his hands in agitation before his head fell to thump on his desk. The dark cloud above his head was almost visible.

Roy decided to not grace his 2nd lieutenant's actions with a reply and instead just smirked to himself as he set his pen to paper. He had a feeling this lunch might go over, and he did not want to make up the paperwork in overtime unless he really had no choice. Twenty minutes later he walked out the door, leaving a pile of signed work on his desk and two blondes disrespecting him under their breath.

~*~

Susan was sitting at a table in a poorly lit corner of the café, an empty kettle of tea before her. She looked…haunted. The braid she usually wore was not as tight as normal, large chunks of her hair hung free. There were dark circles under her eyes, her skin was pale with a tinge of yellow, and she kept tracing patterns with her finger on the table cloth. Roy had a feeling he would not be eating anything.

"Susan?" he called softly as he approached the table. She did not respond so he called out her name a second time, a little louder.

"Colonel! Thank you so much for coming."

Roy froze before stiffly pulling out the chair to take a seat. He had never told Susan his rank, she had never asked. And he had not been a colonel now for ten months. He let it slide for the moment, for Susan had not stopped rambling while he took a seat and motioned for the waiter to bring him a large coffee. He caught snippets, something about being sorry for calling him out but she could not go to anyone else.

"Mu-Roy," Susan's voice hardened with seriousness, drawing his full attention. "I know things, or I think I know them, and I want to tell me if they are true or not."

"Alright."

Susan took a deep breath, as if preparing herself for something, angled her head down, and then rushed on. "Alphonse Elric was a suit of armor. Homunculi are real; they've been following— following Ed since before he passed the test. In fact, Trisha Elric became one. Ed lost his limbs, Al his body, trying to bring her back. Wrath has Ed's limbs. Ed can do transmutations without a circle because he paid the toll. Al can too now that he remembers. Al got his body back because he used a philosopher's stone. Oh, and Pride's the Fürher."

Roy was, to say with absolute honesty, speechless. How she knew what she did seemed to escape him, and half of what he had just heard was news to him. The Fürher a homunculus? (Though that would explain why the police station did not have a missing person's file on Fullmetal) Plus Trisha Elric, with another one in possession of Fullmetal's limbs? Not to mention Roy had never even given much thought to the Elric's transmutation skills, he had always thought it was natural ability.

And yet, now that she was finished Susan was sitting tall and proper. He gaze was hard and dared him to disagree, warning that she would prove him wrong. All of a sudden her shoulders slumped and her forearms slid onto the table, eyes on her interlaced fingers.

"Tell me I'm wrong, Roy." She whispered. "Please tell me I'm wrong."

"I…I can't. Half of what you told me," his hands curled around his mug, "I have never heard of. But, Alphonse did use to be a soul attached to a suit of armor and I have seen homunculi with my own eyes. Everything else you told me, how do you know?"

"Ever since I met you, I've been getting these dreams, flashes," One of Susan's hands moved up to cover her face, "I see faces, learn names, hear voices. There's this one that I have every once in a while, ever since we met, what is it? Four months ago now?" She gave a hollow laugh. "There's not much to it, at first there's a lot of pain and then just a lot of white. I know I'm talking to someone, but all I ever remember is being asked a question and answering 'I want my brother to have what he wants most.' Roy, I don't even have a brother."

Something shivered down his spine. "Susan, maybe you're finally remembering things. You should be happy."

She lowered her hand, once again tracing shapes on the tablecloth, while shaking her head. Roy noticed they were all circles. "I'm just really confused. I can remember flashes of blue light and when I bring my hands together," she brought them up as if to clap in front of her chest, but her palms never touched. "They start to tingle, and I never get the courage to have them touch."

"Susan-"

"I see you sometimes." He blinked stupidly at her.

"You're younger, and you're usually with a blonde woman solider. You use those to create flames." She nodded her head toward Roy's arrayed gloves.

"How did you-"

"I don't know!" She sounded frightened and slightly panicked. Her hands went to the side of her head, pulling more strands from her braid. "I…" She pulled the band loose and began rebraiding her black locks. Roy figured it was more to keep her hands and mind busy than any real concern about her appearance.

"After we talked in the park awhile ago I had a strong desire to visit Resembool." She finished her plait and returned her right hand to tracing circles. Roy watched it, not willing to look at her face and the raw emotions displayed there. "I saved my money, worked a couple more hours a week. We just got back a couple of days ago. I…I have never felt like one place has ever called to me like that town. As soon as I got off the train I thought, this is home. This is where I would like Dean to grow up, someplace like this. I felt as if I knew every hill and farm. Hah! I even knew where to go, though where we ended up was just a burnt down house. I spent three hours there, just looking at ashes and holding Dean's hands, as if the house should mean something but it didn't."

Her finger hesitated in it tracings, before picking up its normal tempo as she continued, voice dropping to a low tone. "The weirdest past was that both to that burnt house and back to town to the inn, I knew people. I'd call to them by name, I actually hugged this one blonde girl saying 'I'm home', but they always asked who I was. That girl in particular looked quite scared of me. If I were remembering time spent there, wouldn't they have known me? I doubt I have changed that much. And if they really don't know me, how do I know them?"

It was a frightened hiss that escaped her mouth, one that demanded answers. Maybe it was because Susan did not think Roy had them or she just could not stop herself now that she was talking, but she continued on without letting him get past opening his mouth.

"They all knew Dean though, or at least thought they did. They all called him Edward. I guess he must really look like that alchemist. Dean never really answered any of them though, just kinda looked at them and gave a lot of people the creeps.

"I cut our visit short, I was so on edge. But all this knowing things, that's not the worst part."

"What do you mean?"

She continued her tracings and Roy finally noticed it was a transmutation circle, the same one over and over again being formed invisibly under her fingertip. There was a twisted design in the center.

When she finally answered, Susan's voice was low and cracked in places. "There have been times…it used to be once in a blue moon but ever since Resembool it's been almost every morning. I wake up, go to bathroom, and just stare at my reflection because I'm absolutely certain it's wrong. My hair is not black and my eyes are not purple. And I don't have these," she gestured to her chest with her hand and then brought it up to her face to wipe away a few stray tears. And suddenly it struck Roy how scared she was.

"And then…then there are times when I look at Dean and think that's me."

Susan brought both her elbows to stand next to each other on the table, placed her head in her hands, and started outwardly crying. Roy took a glance around to see if anyone noticed, but she was doing her best to stay quiet.

"I don't know what's going on Roy. Sometimes I feel as if I'm a guy and don't realize I'm not until I get in the shower. I feel like I used to be another person, and not just someone who can't remember. I don't know what to do. I don't know who I am. I feel like I'm going insane."

Her sobs became slightly louder and Roy could see the salt water slipping between her fingers. He had never seen a woman cry so uncontrollably before and now found himself frozen in mind and body, unable to help even if he wanted to.

Edward Elric's soul was trapped in Lust's body. It was the only explanation. And Dean truly was Fullmetal's body. I want my brother to have what he wants most. Susan had said she heard that phrase in her dreams, so it was bound to be one of Fullmetal's memories. And what else had Al wanted more then his brother's body back the way it was before they tried to bring their mother back? Dean was the physical result, a child's body that was - Roy flinched at the thought - soulless.

The worst part? Susan was going mad. How long until she crossed a bridge and gave into the temptation of the water underneath? And then what would happen to Dean? They had been happy together, living their lives without care or worry. Fullmetal deserved a calm life after all he had been through, even in his current state.

A waiter bumped his arm setting down a plate of biscuits. There was a note on top, Fix it.

He looked up into a green eyed, familiar stubble covered face that made his heart ache doubly at the sight of the malice held in those eyes and the knowledge that his friend had been six feet under for some time now.

Envy had warned him, don't meddle. He was worried about Lust, about how her humanity was a fragile thing. The homunculi had known that Fullmetal's soul resided in his fellow sin's body, had known that it would be easy to disrupt that careful balance that made Susan oblivious to things and kept her happy. But Roy had not listened; he had gone and gotten involved in Susan's life, effectively destroying her.

"I don't know how," he whispered.

In a flash he was knocked from his chair, lying sprawled on his back on the cold floor. Looking up he saw Envy had transformed from Maes into himself. It was unsettling to see himself in such detail without a mirror. Was his hair really that long, his ears really that large?

Roy was jerked from his observations by Envys' actions, something he would have not been able to carry out even if he had thought of it.

"Susan," Envy reached across the table and gently encased her wrists, bringing her hands down. "You are Susan Stanton, a wonderful mother and smart woman who is full of determination. That's what matters, and if you focus on that all this other stuff will go away. Be yourself, the person you know you are and have been since you and Dean have been together."

Envy reached out a hand to caress her check, wiping away the tears on face. Susan gave a slight hiccup and smiled at him with red rimmed eyes, tears still falling.

"Thank you Roy, but I don't know if I could do that." She shook her head, effectively removing Envy's hand from her cheek.

"Why not?" the sin asked. "It's obvious that you're not happy now, but you were before you started hearing things bout the pi- about Fullmetal. Forget about him, forget about what you see and hear and remember."

"It's not that easy," the woman sobbed. "Everything seems to be a trigger, even the town itself."

"Then leave Central."

Susan gave a hoarse laugh. "This is my home Roy, the only thing I and Dean have solid memories of, I can't leave." She broke down crying even harder, putting her head down on the table to cry in dark space created by her crossed arms.

Envy scooted his chair around closer to Susan, no Fullmetal, Roy thought. The homunculus draped an arm around sobbing shoulders. "Susan, let's go somewhere else. My place isn't that far from here."

Roy did not wait around to see how Susan –Fullmetal – responded. When Envy had moved his chair the military man had quietly gotten up, entered the kitchen, and left the restaurant through the back door. It was too private a moment to witness, and watching had made Roy feel as if Fullmetal himself had his right hand around heart and was squeezing.

It was obvious Susan was in anguish, but was more painfully obvious was that it was Roy's fault. And on top of that, him, the master of plans and women had not been able to even think of a way to set things straight. After Ishbal he had made it goal to protect those that he could, always starting with those under his command and having them do the same. But in the end, he had not been able to save Fullmetal close to two years ago now and now he had disrupted any happiness the alchemist had, even if it was due to circumstances that Roy had trouble guessing at.

As Fullmetal had once said during a rainstorm on the steps of Central Headquarters, they were just tiny insignificant humans who could not save a child. Granted Fullmetal was, had been, well on the way to adult hood earlier than anyone else Roy had known but still he had looked out for blonde. It was hard not too when he remembered how Fullmetal had looked pale and sickly, covered in bandages where two limbs had been the day before.

It was a monster, and alchemical abnormality that would help Fullmetal – Susan – now. If Roy knew anything about Envy is was that he was as determined as Fullmetal could be and always finished what he wanted to. Envy was not going to allow this whole…confusion… to disrupt Lust's human happiness. Roy could not guess why, but it did not matter if it meant Fullmetal found a sort of peace as well. It was the least he could do, to avoid Susan to allow the other alchemist to have undisrupted peace.

Roy stopped walking and looked up at Central HQ rising before him. His other subordinate's faces and Al's flashed through his mind, full of worry for Fullmetal. One day he might tell them, when Susan was gone and he had no idea where to find her and Dean. He did not want to the consequences of Susan meeting people Fullmetal had known to occur again, not while Envy was going to do his best to rid her of Roy's taint.

Dean. What a horrible fate for Fullmetal, or at least his body. But Roy was consoled a little because it did not seem as if Susan or Dean knew what was really wrong with the child, for which he was grateful.

He made to walk up the steps, but then stopped and turned, heading for his flat. He did not feel prepared to see the soldiers waiting for his return to the office, and he would not miss any important meetings. Hawkeye would understand, while he may be lazy (which was just a gentle front he liked to put up) he always showed up to work.

Roy just couldn't stop thinking that he had failed someone who had trusted him. He did not want to look into their faces and wonder whom he would fail next.

~*~

Eight months. He had not seen Susan for eight months. But every so often, when he saw a women with long black hair or a small child with golden blonde hair his mind would drift to them. Only after he had quickly gotten out of their line of sight of course, he did not want to see the pain of confusion in Susan's eyes.

He had come to terms that Susan was Susan. She shared characteristics with Fullmetal, but after going over each of their encounters over and over in his head he also realized that she, and well as Dean, where their own persons, as unique as anyone in his own command. Fullmetal, at least the one he knew and remembered, had already passed from this world and it did on one any good to superimpose his image onto Susan.

He hoped she was happy.

For eight months he had wished only that for the pair so that when he got a chance to see if it had been achieved Roy jumped at it.

It had come in with the rest of his mail, catching his eye because it was not the common white but rather a mid hue green.

Platform 3, the 8th at 1:13. Stay out of sight. ~Maes

Envy had succeeded after all, helping Susan heal. Roy vaguely recalled the sin at the cafe trying to get Susan to leave, and he silently agreed it was a good move. Susan should not be haunted by Fullmetal's soul, it was not good for either of them. And now, finally, Envy had Susan taking that advice and heading south. He felt that barb of pain again at knowing that the homunculus had succeed where he had not and was now adult enough to conceded that part of it was jealously and let it slide. It was for the common good, or at least the good of a good person after all.

~*~

He dressed in his civvies, knowing that his uniform would attract attention he did not want. Envy had said to stay out of sight, so Roy assumed the sin was escorting the pair as his doppelganger.

The spot he chose was next to the main entrance. Yes, not a very well hidden spot, but Roy's low cap hid his face and normally people did not look to their right and left as soon as they entered the stations. This way he could see when the group entered and silently follow them.

Once Susan, Dean and Envy, wearing his face, walked though he did not have to follow them for long. It was obvious Susan was doing much better, her face was quick to break out into a smile and her eyes sparkled with life like they had when Roy first met her. Dean too seemed better, if that was possible. From what he could tell the boy's eyes did not seem as empty.

She still had a thing for black; that jacket over her green turtleneck was the same dark hue. Roy did not know if it was a fondness that she got from Lust or Fullmetal. Either way, it looked good on her. He was sad to see though that the braid she had kept her hair in was gone. In fact, most of her hair was gone, it hung instead in loose tresses that ended just below her ears.

The change both saddened and pleased him. It meant that she had gotten over things, was quite content with just being Susan Stanton and not having issues due to being the container of Fullmetal's soul. Not that Roy was sure she was aware that was the case. But it also seemed to be the second death of Fullmetal, cutting off all ties to alchemist.

It was not quite true though. The two defiantly shared personality traits: protectiveness, a willingness to take on responsibility, determination. There was also a healthy glow around Susan, a physical result of her strong, bright life force that made her more attractive than Lust ever had and had drawn people to Fullmetal since he was child. Seeing Fullmetal, even in this bizarre situation of just being a soul in a homunculus's body who answered to the name of Susan Stanton, happy and living a life like any normal person made Roy smile. No one else he could think of deserved such a life more.

He turned around on the trio, once again not wanting to intrude, but this time he left with light heart.

**Author's Note:**

> (1) Nowadays there's the Amber alert for missing kids, but such a thing was not around in the early 1900s. A code pink is used in hospitals to indicate child/infant abduction. I think it's plausible that something similar could have been used


End file.
